Friday, February 19, 2010
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Now, with that being said, by no means assume that I don’t do my darndest to get my son to “cooperate and just let me, for the love of Pete, get a good picture!” “People think I don’t love you!!!” …small grin…”whatever mom…”…sigh…
So I do the only thing a desperate mom can do…I wait for his friends to come over and let them help me guilt him into it…
So when Kayla comes to do Chemisty homework…out with the camera I come…of course not before Caleb can get his shirt up to cover his face.
“Please…just one???” …”Mom, we are trying to do homework!!”… “I know, but this will be a memory…think about all the times you and Kayla have worked on homework together….we need to memorialize it!”
And sweet, sweet Kayla…”Come on Caleb…just one…” Mom’s are smart when it comes to knowing how to manipulate our children. It’s actually a gift God has given us!
Okay…so it’s just a little smile…but hey…that is like a major accomplishment in my book! Awww…see it’s not so bad :O)
Monday, February 15, 2010
So of course I rush to my closet and start the race against the clock. For some reason, it reminded me of Sunday mornings when the kids were little and I was a stressed out wreck by the time we got to church. Mad at my husband because he had dared to sit, earlier in the morning, and stare at ESPN (which was replaying the same story they had already talked about 12 times over the last hour) while two children had pop tarts stuck in their hair and were still wearing their pajamas...mad because there was guilt over the fact that pop tarts were my kid's breakfast...mad because not one thing seemed to fit or look right together...or because I knew that I had to sing in the praise band that morning and therefore was stressed by default of having to get up in front of a crowd...you name it, I stressed over it! And I know...I hear all you organized souls saying...why didn't you lay out clothes the night before or get out of bed a little earlier or have premade breakfast casseroles ready to pop in the oven...well that would have just been a little too organized for me at that time in my life...why would I make life easier on myself? I know...the questions one can ponder...
And while I was rushing around yesterday, I was wondering...why am I not stressed? Why am I not having a melt down because I know that I don't have enough time to get ready... To be honest, I obviously do not have small children anymore and let me tell you, that makes a HUGE difference in the amount of things you can do, but it's more than that. I have learned that you don't have to be perfect!! Hear that super-moms??? You don't have to have spotless tile, or a clean refrigerator and if the guest bathroom tends to have toothpaste in the sink because your son refuses to use the bathroom his room shares with his sister's...it is going to be okay!!! No one is going to see the toothpaste in your sink and think you get the worst mom of the year award!! We waste too much energy on things that while important overall (you can't just not ever clean your house or else your gonna end up on Hoarders!) are not important enough to steal your joy!!! There will be time in which to get to those things...and it doesn't always have to be perfect right now... Just ask my son...I ask him for a couple of weeks, at least, before he gets to the cleaning of the toothpaste out of the sink...(okay so there are times I get a little stressed about the toothpaste, but 3 weeks is, I think, a very generous waiting period before gaskets are blown)
I have realized over the years that I wasted too much time and hurt too many people in my quest for perfection and you know what...it just isn't worth it!!
So we actually made it to the restaurant before 5 and I was not the least bit stressed from trying to make the deadline and the result is that I had a fantastic anniversary dinner with my husband and Ashtyn was surprised with her own take-home steak dinner so that her "alone awareness" didn't have to be so painful! (you of course know that Ashtyn has never truly fit into any "aloneness" category..."picky" maybe...which is just fine-de-dine with her momma!...so don't feel too sad for her!! ...after all, she did get steak!!)
Enjoy life and don't sweat the small stuff!!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The bottom line is I don't thank him enough for being the perfect mate and father. Not that he doesn't make mistakes but because he still loves me even though I make mistakes all the time and only sometimes points out if I spell something wrong...okay, he points that out all the time but I just sock him in the arm and life is good again.
I love the fact that while not perfect, our kids have a great role model and example in their father. Something I haven't shared with many people is that Dave lost his job in July of last year. That is a really hard thing for a man because a lot of his self esteem and pride comes from the work he is able to do. It has been a hard 7 months but through it all, he has never doubted God's plan for us. It is so much easier to go through the hard times when you have a partner that can clearly see God as being in control and believes it to the bottom of his soul.
The funny thing about these past 7 months is that for whatever reason God has provided peace and for a controller such as myself that is saying a lot. But Dave has reinforced from the beginning of this journey, through his faith, that God had a plan. Even when our teenage son struggled with the anger...when he didn't understand why "bad things happen to good people who try to follow and love God and yet those who could care less about God, seem to continually be blessed!!" I praise God for our struggles if for no other reason than that my son can come closer to understanding nothing is guaranteed in this world and if we don't hold on to Jesus, comfort and security does not exist...or at most will be fleeting. And that perceived blessings sometimes become easily defined by our human wants and desires. When true blessings surround us all the time if we only stop and acknowledge them.
I am grateful for the blessing that my dear husband is to me and I don't come close to doing enough by way of showing that appreciation! He still makes me laugh and really just knowing that he still makes the effort to try to make me laugh is something I try to not take for granted but often do. That he allows me to be my head-strong self but loves me even when I speak before I really think is a testament to his patience :o) I couldn't love him more or be more happy that he chose me to spend his life with.
On Monday, God revealed His plan and Dave was offered a job that he really wanted, with a company that seems to be really stable and I am so glad. Not just for our family but also for him as I want only for his happiness. God is so good! And though there have been ups and downs over the last 18 years...I would not have missed the chance to be part of this family and married to this wonderful man. Thank you for being my babe-uh-love :o)
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
So my scrunched up nose wasn't due to the fact that I thought by listening to audio books they were non-runners...just that I couldn't fathom not having the bump bump beep beep music blaring in my ears in order for me to move one foot in front of the other. I mean unless I have music so loud that my mind can't hear itself screaming "Stop right now or else I am killing over"...well it just doesn't happen for me. At a time when I am regularly running 4 to 5 miles multiple times a week (which is still not quite back in my grasp at the moment...but April marathon is coming...not that I'm running a marathon but I promised to run a leg so my excuses time is over...) you take away my music and I may get a block...it is a major crutch for me...probably why I am so sensitive to those "running purists"..."listen to the sound of your feet striking the pavement"...for real??? gack!
Well tonight I listened to my first audio book while on the treadmill because the weather is really not fun right now...and guess what...okay, I will tell you ...I could have ran for hours! I didn't even think about my wheezing/heart attack-waiting-to-happen-self because I was so into the book. Awesome huh? Okay so I will give it a week and see if I am still in love with audio book running but I am excited as of right now. And what's even better...you can download them from your local library for...FREE...not even kidding! So I do apologize to all those who I previously thought were lacking...you so had the right idea!!!